“Therefore, I tell you, her many sins have been forgiven–for she loved much, but he who has been forgiven little loves little.” – Luke 7:47
I saw this photograph on Facebook last week. Underneath was the following caption, “The first person to help others up, is the one who knows what it’s like to fall.”
Autism has been the best of me. Autism has been the worst of me.
It’s been the worst of me.
I have talked about how somewhere along my journey I experienced a hardening of my heart towards God. Well, the result is that I got selfish – incredibly selfish. I discovered the ugliness I am capable of. Thankfully, I know that God can mold our dark seasons for His glory – that He uses failures, as well as victories to accomplish His good will. Even the dark threads of our lives are intricately woven into the masterpiece of God’s tapestry – they serve a purpose in His grand design, too.
For me, there is something about truly knowing myself that encourages me to show a little more grace to others. He who is forgiven much, loves much. (Luke 7:47)
It’s also been the best of me.
I cringe when I think of how I used to deal with hurting people. I can picture the scene. A friend is telling me about a trial they are experiencing. I’m nodding with an appropriately concerned look on my face, occasionally throwing in an “I’m so sorry to hear that,” or a “That must be so difficult for you.” As we part I tell them, “I’ll pray for you,” but I know that I probably won’t. Not seriously anyway. So, to ease my own conscience, and not out of any true concern for my friend, I silently say, “Bless them, Lord,” as they walk away, and then put the issue from my mind.
It is difficult to reveal this side of me, but it is the truth. Until personal tragedy touched me, I didn’t have true empathy for others. I didn’t allow myself to enter into their suffering or identify with their pain. I was too busy living my own life.
But now . . .
If you ask me to pray for you, you can be confident that I will.
If you want to talk, I have time to listen.
If you want someone to confide in, I won’t condemn you.
If you need something, I’ll do what I can.
I know what it’s like to fall.