Good therapy is expensive. Really expensive. Whatever number you’re thinking of right now, triple it. To say that it can be financially devastating and emotionally draining is an understatement.
I have hesitated to write this particular post. I don’t want to sound as though I’m putting my husband and myself on a holy pedestal, as though we are spiritual giants with unwavering faith. The truth is I doubt whether I would have ever done this had I not been brought to the point of total desperation. However, at the risk of sounding self-promoting, I’ve ultimately determined that it would be remiss not to tell others about how God has miraculously provided for our family. Too much of our story would be left out.
Not long after becoming genuinely concerned about Luke’s development, I happened across the Bible verse above. I had never felt as though we could afford to give away 10% of our income, but looking back, I realize that I just didn’t have the motivation to make it happen. Now my baby boy was on the line, so if God was inviting me to “put Him to the test” I was going to take him up on that offer.
So, we started giving 10% of every dollar that God blessed us with back to God – not only our regular income, but gifts, grants, coins found in the street—every dollar. We have also done our part – going to drastic lengths to cut expenses, and applying for every grant and assistance available. It’s a way of saying that we trust God to see us through this, and at every turn . . . He has.
I still can’t fathom how a barely-middle-income household can afford gold-standard therapy, but day after day and week after week, we do. Our insurance had been uncooperative, so whatever the remaining 90% of our income didn’t cover, we had to dip into our savings to pay for. After a few months, our nest egg was dwindling.
I began to think of money in terms of therapy. How many therapy hours did we have left? How many days? How many weeks? At four-and-a-half weeks left, panic was setting in. We had been denied for any government assistance – the curse of the middle class – too much money to qualify, too little to afford to pay. We didn’t own a home, so we couldn’t qualify for a loan.
But a few days later …
We received word that we had been approved for an unsecured loan – at 3% interest. I still clearly remember receiving that phone call and feeling my knees go out from under me. I knelt straight to the ground and thanked God. Within a week we also received approval for two separate medical grants, and yes, we gave 10% back to God. Therapy would go on.
It was a “parting of the Red Sea” moment. I had witnessed a true miracle from God. I would never doubt again that he would provide for us – or so I thought.
The months went on and as we embarked on another year of paying out-of-pocket for therapy, the money began to run out. Two months left . . . one month left . . . two weeks left . . . one week left. Anxiety was mounting.
It was a Saturday afternoon. I was sitting with the checkbook and figuring out what 10% should be for this week’s giving, realizing that if we gave that money we wouldn’t be able to pay the therapy bill due Monday morning. We weren’t expected to get a paycheck for over a week. To give, or not to give? I wrestled with my doubt for a few moments before saying to myself, “We can’t afford not to give. It is only by God’s grace we’ve made it this far.” So, I wrote the check and put the matter to rest in my mind. Not five minutes later, I heard the lid to the mailbox slam shut and went out to check the mail. Our tax refund had arrived.
Stories like these have become almost commonplace in our home. We’ve had months that we thought we would need to clear out our bank accounts entirely. We’ve had Thursdays when we didn’t know where Friday’s money was coming from, but time and time again, there has been an unexpected bonus or insurance check, a grant, a gift, or an opportunity to earn more money. Provision never seems to come the same way twice, never in excess, never early, but never late.
There have been huge sacrifices. I’m certain that there are still days ahead of wondering where the therapy dollars are coming from, but God has made a faithful promise to provide for those who trust Him, and God always keeps His promises.