I have frequently thought that had I become concerned for Luke just a month sooner, or if it had taken just a month longer to get pregnant, it is very possible that Faith would not be here today, but God in His mercy and wisdom, knew I needed her.
There were mornings that I didn’t want to get out of bed, but Faith needed me. For her sake I would find the strength to tend to her needs, and she would reward me with smiles, and giggles, and coos. She did not allow me to retreat into the pain I was feeling. She forced me to move forward, and she gave me a reason to smile about doing it.
When I used to see other toddlers talking, there was a place inside of me that started to ache. I remember serving in the church nursery one Sunday when Luke was two years old and Faith was just a small infant. A little boy with dark brown curls took a strong interest in me. Josiah was 18-months old. He brought me a book and wanted to sit in my lap so that I could read to him. I picked him up and he snuggled down under my arm, his soft curls brushing against my cheek. As I began to read, Josiah pointed out various objects and called each one by name. I suddenly found myself fighting off tears. How desperately I wanted to share a moment like this with Luke! It was precious and excruciating at the same time.
As she has grown, Faith has helped my heart to find healing. She has given me the chance to experience all of the things that I felt were missing, and while I still long to have these experiences with Luke, she has filled the void.
When I was pregnant I often prayed that God would give Luke the sibling that he needed, and He answered that prayer. Faith has become one of Luke’s therapists. She is a constant companion and presence to him, whether he likes it or not. She is an element of disorder and chaos in a world he is trying to control. She teaches him to be patient and flexible, but also tries very much to please him and share with him. What a miracle and a mercy of God it is to have her!
The song, “In My Daughter’s Eyes” by Martina McBride, has come to have such special meaning to me in this season of my life. I hope that you enjoy watching this tribute to my hero — my little girl.