A Special Calling

Within a few weeks after Luke’s diagnosis, I was contacted by a woman who is the mother of a little girl with Autism and Down Syndrome. Chloe was seven years old, did not speak, and was not potty trained. What struck me about this mother was how peaceful this woman was with her daughter’s disability. I had to know her secret because I was going out of my mind with grief! So, I asked her, “How did you get to be okay with this?” She sighed knowingly and answered, “Well, it is a process.” She went on to talk about how she had come to appreciate the things that her daughter could do, and how the experience of having Chloe for a sister had made her son a better person. I listened quietly, but when the conversation ended, I admit that I was less than satisfied with her answer.I thought, “So, the best she can offer me is that my son’s calling is to make other people better?” I wanted Luke to better himself — to have his own dreams and goals. I wanted him to have plans for his own life, so the thought that his purpose in life would be vicariously lived out in the lives of other people was simply unacceptable to me.

I was grieving the death of the dream that I had for Luke, but since then, I’ve started learning to embrace a new dream for him – God’s dream. God’s dream for Luke is indestructible. There is no disorder, illness, disaster or circumstance that can derail it. It is unaffected by social status, wealth or IQ. God’s dream is inevitable, it is without limitation, and it is lovingly planned.

Embracing God’s dream does not mean I am giving up hope that my prayers will be answered. I still pray daily that my son will be healed from autism, and I invest every resource at my disposal to that end, but I also try to remember that God’s dream for Luke is infinitely more glorious than mine ever could be. My role is to teach Luke to know God to the best of his ability, whatever that level is, and to have faith that this trial is for Luke’s ultimate good.

I’m not there yet. Some days are harder than others, but I have gotten to the point that I can have a better perspective on those words spoken to me a year-and-a-half ago. I was driving in my car one afternoon when my thoughts stumbled into thinking about what my response would be if God asked me, “What did you do for Me with the time I gave you?” and then I thought about what Luke’s response might be, “Other people are better people because of me.” It suddenly struck me. That’s a really good answer! There is no higher calling or greater purpose than causing others to glorify God with their lives. Uniquely designed people accomplish this calling naturally. It’s built in! Yet, the rest of us must strive for it. I should be honored that my son has such a noble purpose. I should endeavor to make it my own.